The word love in general is perceived as the intimate relationship, affection and care between a married couple.
Apart from the love between a married couple, the word love is usually perceived as brotherhood as well.
There were 4 words used in Greek that translates to the word 'love' in English. They are:
Eros - Love between a man and woman married to each other, especially in the sexual sense.
Storge - Love among the family members and relatives. The love between parents and their children is a perfect example for this type of love.
Philio - Love between friends, and other close people who are not family members or life partners. The love shown between 2 good friends.
Agape - A sacrificial love shown to even those who didn't deserve it. God's love for sinful mankind is the perfect example. This is the highest of all the 4 types of love.
Note: The above types of love are approved in the Bible. I'm writing this note, to exclude the so many different stuff (in today's world) that are referred to as 'love' (but disapproved in the Bible) from the scope of this article.
Ex: An extra-marital relationship between a man and woman, same sex relationship etc are all perceived as love in the world but disapproved in the Bible. Hence, these types of love cannot be taken in the context of Eros type of love.
If something is disapproved by God and if we try to justify that as love, we're deceiving ourselves! That's the reason I gave the above note.
Ok, coming back to the topic, what exactly is love according to the Bible?
I'd like to admit that it's hard to define love (from the Bible's view) by words, but it's a lot easier to feel it deep inside my heart.
So, let's look at some of the attributes of love (from 1 Corinthians 13).
From 1 Corinthians 13: 4 to 8, we get a good picture of love, getting answers to:
What's love?
What isn't love?
Characteristics of love
What's love?
First let's see what's love. Well, the Bible let's us to know two quick things here:
Love is patient
Love is kind
So when a person is impatient or unkind, they are not truly driven by God's love at least at that moment.
So is it possible for a man to stop failing in these 2 criteria of love?
Well, I believe it's possible to be perfect in these 2 criteria by living our lives completely dependent on God.
In my case, I admit I've failed occasionally even after I truly accepted Christ and decided to follow Him. But the frequency of such failures have drastically reduced, and my patience and kindness levels are improving day by day.
So I can confidently say that I'm being perfected by God in these criteria even if I'm not 100% perfect yet. And whenever I fail, I'll get back to God with a true repentance and get His forgiveness to become even more perfect (rather than using His forgiveness as a license to stay imperfect).
What isn't love?
In my view, this part clearly shows the status of human hearts, and that God knows us better than ourselves!
Yes, the things we often tend to do as humans stops us from showing true love. Here's Bible's checklist from 1 Corinthians 13 about what isn't love:
Love is not rude
Love is not self-seeking
Love is not easily angered
Once I used to justify my rudeness, self-centeredness and anger by pointing my hands on the situation or the behavior of other people. But I was deceived.
The true characteristic of a person is revealed only in the rough situations. It's easy to stay humble, avoid being rude and be a 'good person' when things are smooth.
So, we can be sure we stand in line with these attributes of love only when the situation is rough. All it takes is complete faith and dependence in God to stay calm in rough tides.
And we must avoid committing the mistake of limiting God to our own understanding or logic in such situations (as He is able to turn the table around at His appointed time, until which we have to remain patient).
Characteristics of Love
Here are the characteristics of love given in 1 Corinthians 13:
Love keeps record of no wrongs
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth
Love always protects
Love always trusts
Love always hopes
Love always perseveres
Love never fails
It's natural for mankind to keep record of wrongs of their foes, and to delight in evil. However, Bible asks us to do the exact opposite.
In fact, "Love your enemies" is a command from Jesus Himself!
Then we see the other characteristics of Love - always protects, trusts, hopes, perseveres! God expects married couples to love each other this way. This type of love is essential to serve God as a family.
And lastly, we also see that love never fails. When we love based on 1 Corinthians 13, we'll be looked at as fools in this world. In fact, I also thought I'd be a fool if I love this way.
However, the Bible here assures that love never fails! Let's take a look at the life of Jesus from a worldly perspective to get clarified on how love never fails.
From a worldly view, Jesus was a failure as He didn't liberate Israel from the Romans, (as expected of the Messiah) by the Jews of His time.
However, from God's view, Jesus still succeeded in saving the believers from God's wrath, the exact purpose for which He was sent by God.
Conclusion
It all depends on what we give more importance to - world or God. The Bible clearly says we can't serve two masters, and we have to give up on one to cling to the other.
But one thing is for sure, based on my experience. We might think we'll suffer if we love this way. But when we obey, we realize the goodness of these commands!
Yes, it helps to focus more on God and be peaceful and happy despite the challenges in life or insults from others. The words or deeds of others cannot control our behavior or even our thoughts.
As a result, we'll eliminate bitterness, hatred, pride and ego from our heads. And that makes life a lot more easier!
This type of love actually liberates us from the clutches of the world, and the evil nature in our heart! This love is possible for us only through Christ as He is the only example of perfection whom we can follow.