In our day-to-day lives, we interact with many people - members of the family, friends, relatives, colleagues, strangers.
Out of all the people we interact with, we're emotionally attached to some. For any person, the emotional attachment is at its high with their life partner.
Married couples handle emotional attachment in different ways.
Some try to avoid being emotionally attached anyone (including life partner). By doing so, they think that they don't give a chance for others to hurt them.
Some don't express their emotions even if they are emotionally attached to another person, while some show all their emotions out.
In all cases, one cannot claim they don't have emotions at all. But what does the Bible teach us in handling our emotions?
In this post, I'm specifically writing about how the married couples should handle their emotional attachment with each other, as the attachment of a person with their life partner is a lot more intense than with any other person.
God helped me understand two emotional bonds between a married couple:
The bond of love (which according to the Bible is essential to have)
The bond of pride (which according to the Bible should be eliminated)
Let's take a quick look at both these bonds (or emotional attachments) between married couples.
To start, let's take Jesus's command to love others as yourself. No matter whom we're dealing with - be it life partner, children, parents, neighbors, strangers - we must love all as we love ourselves.
As the Bible describes married couples as one in flesh, a person's bond of love with their life partner is a lot more important than with any other person.
The bond of love (in Christ) between a married couple must stay intact AT ALL TIMES (not just when things are smooth).
Married couples aren't exempt from conflict of interest (or) difference of opinion (or) disagreement with each other.
But they have to ensure the bond of pride doesn't operate them. When there's a disagreement between a married couple, they must ensure it doesn't become an argument between them.
What starts as "I'm always right" thing, could result in raising tone of voice(s), and invite the bond of pride to break the family.
The tit for tat statements (between married couples) like - "I did this because you did that". "I argued because you argued", "I spoke harshly because you did first" etc. are a result of the bond of pride.
The bond of pride has the power to make one person a slave to another person's behaviors and actions.
If you are a married person, and the next time the bond of pride tries to chip in, just give up on the argument, and say sorry to your life partner (even if you seemed right to yourself).
As a result, your partner may think you realized they are right and may still continue to argue or advise you not to do something again. All you have to do is just to keep quiet.
You don't have to raise the voice even if you appear like a loser.
Remember that Jesus Himself, despite being spotless, despite having all authority to escape the sufferings, suffered for our sins on the cross and provided us with the beautiful gift of salvation. He didn't become angry even when a person spat at Him.
Just seek God's help in prayer to release you from the bond of pride, while retaining the bond of love (especially for your life partner). Let the bond of love stay intact in Christ.
You may still have one more question. When will God untie the bond of pride in my life partner?
The answer is - We, as God's children expect Him to change things outside of us, but God intends to change us first, and to use us as a light in others' lives.
Have faith in God and He is able to give the right understanding to your life partner.
LET GOD DO HIS JOB. Please don't make the mistake of grabbing God's job into your hands. To be precise, you don't even have to convey to your life partner that you're avoiding arguments for God's sake.
HAVE FAITH IN GOD AND BE PATIENT. God can move mountains for you!
To conclude, here's Ephesians 5:21-33 for your meditation.
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—
30 for we are members of his body.
31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.
33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.